Saturday, June 20, 2020

"Alcoholic killer monkey leaves one man dead and 250 injured...."

I'm telling you, they seem more human every day.
From the Daily Mail, June

Alcoholic killer monkey leaves one man dead and 250 injured after going on rampage when his booze supply dried up
An alcoholic killer monkey has left one man dead and 250 injured after going on the rampage when his booze supply dried up in India.

The inebriated imp, known as Kalua, was formerly the pet of an occultist who fed him hard liquor at his home in Mirzapur, Uttar Pradesh.
But after his owner died, the bereft animal stopped getting his supply of spirits and began prowling the streets in a furious rage.

The simian targeted women and girls in particular, with dozens of children left needing plastic surgery after he ripped open their faces with his fangs.
The animal has since been caught and will now be kept in captivity for the rest of its life....MORE
I'm not sure why the writer used the word "imp."
And from last December's "Fairness, Capuchin Monkeys and Wall Street":
This is a few years old but contains some good lessons so is probably worth reposting

The speaker, Frans de Waal, is one of the heavyweights of the primate world. Actually, we all are among the heavyweights of the primate world but he's up there with Jane Goodall in the study of primates....
*****
And in other lessons from primates smaller than ourselves:
Related:
"How scientists taught monkeys the concept of money. Not long after, the first prostitute monkey appeared"
Commodity traders superior to chimpanzees, research shows
I made a serious career track mistake.
Years ago a counselor pointed out that I seemed to have an affinity for animals (It's true. Kids and dogs like me. So do drunks and folks suffering from various psychopathologies).
Had I followed up on her thinking I would now be tenured, trading outside my species and living the grant-proposal dream....
 ...chimpanzees in nature do not store property and thus would have little opportunity to trade commodities...
2020: "Motorcycle-Riding Monkey Tries Kidnapping Small Child ... In Indonesian Alley "—UPDATED
Monkeys Are Transcribing The New York Times, Typing Hamlet at 12 Words Per Minute
"Vineyard-Raiding Baboons Favor Pinot Noir"
What a bunch of wine snob poseurs.
Merlot is just fine, especially if it's dolled up as Chateau Petrus.
Berry Bros. & Rudd is running a special case price, "Buy 6 and save £2667.37".
A Romanée Conti (pinot noir) will cost you double or triple. BB&R is price on request.
Either way, possibly more than the average baboon has in petty cash.....