Meanwhile at ZeroHedge: "How To Entirely Empty Your Bowels Every Morning"

That's the ad I've been getting if I swing by ZeroHedge.
Don't the ad bots understand that I have markets to facilitate backside evacuation?

It plays hell with the underwear supply chain, and I've found if one depends (poopy pun) on just-in-time delivery one may face social ostracism and worse, but who needs this:

"How To Entirely Empty Your Bowels Every Morning "

When your ZH visit yields this: 

CDC Confirms 2 New Coronavirus Cases In US; WHO Raises Global Alert Rating To "Very High": Live Updates 
Russia Blames Turkey For Its 33 Troops Killed Embedded With "Terrorists"; Turkey Vows To Escalate 
Massive Fire Breaks Out After Immigrant Protest Near Central Paris Train Station 
Could The Covid-19 Pandemic Collapse The U.S. Healthcare System? 
The Entire Treasury Yield Curve Is 'Inverted' 
Iran's Clerics "Put World At Risk" - Urging Pilgrims To Visit Qom Shrine, Outbreak Epicenter, As "House For Cure" 
NYSE Announces Disaster-Recovery Test Due To Virus Fears 
European Nightmare As Turkey "Opens The Gates" On Refugees While Covid-19 Ravages Nearby Iran

Ah hell, gotta run.