From the Babylon Bee:
The nations of Earth have descended into a mass panic this week after Mad Money host Jim Cramer announced that giant mutant bugs will definitely not attack the Earth next Tuesday at 2:17 pm. "I'm absolutely, 100% sure about this," proclaimed Cramer confidently as his TV crew fled the studio in terror. "There is absolutely NO CHANCE a race of man-eating mutant insects controlled by a hive-mind from the planet Arachtoid VI will enter Earth's atmosphere at noon next Tuesday and begin destroying all major cities at 2:17. I know what I'm talking about, folks!....
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Things are bad when the non-financial media are mocking your predictive skills.
