"‘It’s natural to see ebbs and flows in the market as we enter a new era of monetary policy’: As stocks tumble, smart investors are calmly focusing on the long game"

That's the sort of calm reassurance we expect from MarketWatch via Yahoo Finance.

Meanwhile at ZeroHedge, they appear to be channeling the New York Post's headline style: 

Sinko De Mayo: Post-Powell Panic-Bid Hangover Prompts Panoramic Pukefest

Combining both wordplay and some six-P alliteration.