Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Uber Say Uber Good, Amazon Bad

I'm so sorry, Uber didn't say that.
It's just that today's soundtrack includes a loop of the SNL Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein "Succinctly Speaking" Fire Bad sketch and I am apt to blurt out the damnedest pseudo-Frankie glossolalia at any time.
(We're just happy it's not the copro type of lalia)

What Uber actually said was:

Uber says Uber is not the source of London congestion
Uber is often blamed for London's congestion, as the city grinds slower and slower to a standstill.
But it's not Uber's fault... according to Uber. Research commissioned by Uber has looked into why London is now the most congested city in Europe, and found the problem is due to e-commerce.

How? The research shows that demand for road use remained flat over the study period, and the number of cars on the road has fallen. Cars includes private vehicles, taxies and private hire vehicles. 

According to Uber, that means "cars are not the sources to London's growing congestion".
Instead, it says, significant planned roadworks and a rise of light goods vehicles, or delivery vans, due to more e-commerce, was to blame......MORE at City A.M.
What Frankenstein actually said was:
Season 13: Episode 8 
Succinctly Speaking
Kathleen Fulmer...Nora Dunn
Tarzan...Kevin Nealon
Tonto...Jon Lovitz
Frankenstein...Phil Hartman
[Open on talk show set with title SUPER: "SUCCINCTLY SPEAKING." Theme music plays. Seated from left to right are Frankenstein, host Kathleen Fulmer, Tarzan and Tonto]

Don Pardo V/O: "Succinctly Speaking" with Kathleen Fulmer.

[Applause as camera zooms in to Kathleen]

Kathleen Fulmer: Good evening and welcome to "Succinctly Speaking." I'm Kathleen Fulmer. My guests today include Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein. All right, Tarzan, let's start with you: Fire.

Tarzan: Fire good.

Kathleen Fulmer: Mm-hmm. Tonto?

Tonto: Fire good.

Kathleen Fulmer: All right. Frankenstein?

Frankenstein: [Growls] Fire bad!

Kathleen Fulmer: Okay, we have a difference of opinion, and I think that's what makes our forum work, the give and take. Don't you think? [Tarzan and Tonto nod. Frankenstein scowls at Kathleen] Okay, let's move on, shall we? Bread....
You can see where I get confused.