Monday, September 22, 2008

Freak Out in the Oil Markets

My freak out. The markets were just doing what they do. Going forward, if I should be AWOL from the blog for more than a couple hours during the trading day, just assume I am having a complete and total breakdown. Fortunately, President Carter was a micro-managing kind of guy.
From Bespoke Investment Group:

...Just another crazy datapoint in a crazy market.



From SNL (he'll talk you down at 2:15 in)

From SNL Transcripts:
...Walter Cronkite: Thank you, Mr. President, ha ha! Our next call is Peter Elkin of Westbrook, Oregan, whom I am told is 17 years of age.

Peter (on phone): Hello? Hello?

President Jimmy Carter: Yes. Hello, Peter?

Peter (on phone): Is this the President?

President Jimmy Carter: Yes, it is.

Walter Cronkite: Do you have a question for the President?

Peter (on phone): Uh.. I, uh.. I took some acid.. I'm afraid to leave my apartment, and I can't wear any clothes.. and the ceiling is dripping, and uh.. I, uh..

Walter Cronkite: Well, thank you very much for calling, sir..

President Jimmy Carter: Just a minute, Walter, this guy's in trouble. I think I better try to talk him down. Peter?

Peter (on phone): Yeah..?

President Jimmy Carter: Peter, what did the acid look like?

Peter (on phone): They were these little orange pills.

President Jimmy Carter: Were they barrel shaped?

Peter (on phone): Uh.. yes.

President Jimmy Carter: Okay, right, you did some orange sunshine, Peter.

Peter (on phone): Very good of you to know that, sir.

President Jimmy Carter: How long ago did you take it, Peter?

Peter (on phone): Uh.. I don't know. I can't read my watch.

President Jimmy Carter: Alright, Peter, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it..

Peter (on phone): Okay..

President Jimmy Carter: Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?

Peter (on phone): Yes, I do, sir. Everything is okay, huh Jimmy?

President Jimmy Carter: It sure is, Peter. You know, I'm against drug use myself, but I'm not going to lay that on you right now. Just mellow out the best you can, okay?

Peter (on phone): Okay..!

President Jimmy Carter: Okay.

Walter Cronkite: Well, thank you, Mr. President. Our time is up for this week, but let me remind you that it is now time to buy your tickets for the first annual "I Slept At The White House" lottery, on sale at federal office buildings everywhere.

President Jimmy Carter: I figure there's no harm in trying, Walt. The tickets are only a dollar, and maybe someone out there will win an all-expense paid trip to spend the night here with us in Washington. Good night!

Walter Cronkite: Good night, thank you very much.