From the Miami Herald:
On day 43,000 of sheltering in place, I decided to make a face mask.
For a while they were saying that we civilians
didn’t need to wear face masks, but now they’re saying that we should.
At least I think that’s what they’re now saying. The only way to know
for sure would be to turn on the TV news, and I don’t want to do that
because it sounds like this:
NEWSPERSON: Coronavirus! Coronavirus!
Coronavirus! For more on this, here is a different newsperson located
somewhere else for safety reasons.
DIFFERENT NEWSPERSON: Coronavirus! Coronavirus! Coronavirus! Now back to you.
NEWSPERSON: Thank you. Coronavirus! Coronavirus! Corona ...
And so on, 24 hours a day. Sometimes 30 hours a day. That’s how much coronavirus (Coronavirus!) news there is.
Anyway, I think now we’re supposed to wear masks.
When I walk my dog, Lucy, around my neighborhood I’m seeing more and
more people in masks. We all keep our distance, of course. We eye each
other warily, like gunslingers in a Western, ready to react instantly if
the other person draws a gun, or — much scarier — coughs.
But I think I’m getting eyed more warily lately because I’m not wearing a mask, and neither is Lucy.
If I could, I would buy a mask, but that is of
course ridiculous. It’s like saying “If I could, I would fly like a
bird” or “If I could, I would buy toilet paper.” So I thought maybe I
could make a mask. It would be something to do, and I’m desperate for
things to do. Several days ago, when our bank statement arrived in the
mail, my reaction — seriously — was “All RIGHT! Now I can BALANCE THE
CHECKING ACCOUNT!”
So I Googled “make face mask” and the first thing
that popped up was an article on the CNN website titled “How to make
your own face mask” with instructions “based on guidance from the
Vanderbilt University Medical Center and Froedtert & Medical College
of Wisconsin.”
Step one was to cut some fabric into two
9x6-inch rectangles. So far, so good. Then came step two: “On the top of
the 9-inch side, pin or mark a 2-inch opening in the center of the top
edge of the 9-inch side, between the 3.5- and 5.5-inch points, along the
top edge. Then, sew the edges on either side of where you pinned or
marked the opening.”
This is where the Vanderbilt University Medical
Center and Froedtert & Medical College of Wisconsin lost me. I
cannot sew. I am not proud of this: It’s just a fact. Over the years I
have tried many times to sew things, and I always fail badly. My sewing
incompetence is so extreme that it was once noticed by Oprah Winfrey....
....
MUCH MORE
Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/coronavirus/article241785841.html#storylink=cpy
Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/coronavirus/article241785841.html#storylink=cpy
