And actually their original headline was even funnier:
http://www.cityam.com/227201/amazon-google-microsoft-share-prices-go-mental-on-openingFrom City A.M.:
Amazon, Google (or Alphabet) and Microsoft's share price have all jumped as the markets opened today.
Amazon's share price opened nine per cent up, while Google's stock soared 11. per cent and Microsoft's shares rose 10.2 per cent.
All three companies reported strong results yesterday, with online giant Amazon's net sales up 23 per cent to $25.4bn (£16.5bn), while net income was posted at $79bn in the three months to the end of September.
Meanwhile, Google's revenue increased 13 per cent to $18.7bn (£12.2bn) in the three months to 30 September.
Revenue from Google - now known as Alphabet - websites was $13.1bn, up 16 per cent compared to the third quarter of 2014, and paid clicks on Google websites jumped by 23 per cent.
Google announced the group's first stock buyback yesterday, worth $5.1bn which marked the latest step in its transition to a new management and financial structure....MORE