Wednesday, April 16, 2014

"Zuckerberg Vows Facebook Will Shoot Down Google Drones" (FB; GOOG)

From the New Yorker:
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MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report)—One day after Google outbid Facebook for a manufacturer of solar-powered drones, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg served warning that his company was prepared to blow Google’s drones out of the skies.

At a presentation for Facebook employees at the company’s headquarters in Menlo Park, Zuckerberg announced plans to build a $24 billion Facebook laser shield, a global network of satellites capable of identifying and incinerating Google drones in midair.

Zuckerberg delighted his audience with a brief animated demonstration showing a Facebook satellite locking in on a Google drone and obliterating it with a green laser.

“Unfriended, bitch,” said Zuckerberg, to a roaring ovation from his employees....MORE