"Zuckerberg Vows Facebook Will Shoot Down Google Drones" (FB; GOOG)
From the New Yorker:
MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report)—One
day after Google outbid Facebook for a manufacturer of solar-powered
drones, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg served warning that his company
was prepared to blow Google’s drones out of the skies.
At a presentation for Facebook employees at the company’s headquarters
in Menlo Park, Zuckerberg announced plans to build a $24 billion
Facebook laser shield, a global network of satellites capable of
identifying and incinerating Google drones in midair.
Zuckerberg delighted his audience with a brief animated demonstration
showing a Facebook satellite locking in on a Google drone and
obliterating it with a green laser.
“Unfriended, bitch,” said Zuckerberg, to a roaring ovation from his employees....MORE
