Saturday, January 5, 2013

Gizoogle Turns Yo MuthaF’in Website All Gangsta Yo

The perfect way to read Climateer Investing.
From Wired's Neuron Culture blog:
Too good to be true — yet it’s true. Type a search term into gizooogle, and the site will gangsta-lingo-ize both the search results and the pages you go to. The fun is endless. I, for instance, become Dizzy Dobbs, lyricist n’ journalist , and author of “My f__in Muthaf___’s Lover.” (Gizoogle doesn’t use blanks.*)...MORE
For example, here's what the front page of the popular finance and economics weblog FT Alphaville looks like.
And here are some recent posts:
One mo' thought on tha payrolls report
Consider all dat has either hyped up tha US economizzle and at least done cooked up big-ass headlines up in tha last two muthafuckin years — winter accelerations seemingly crashin tha fuck into sprin slowdowns; a thugged-out debt ceilin rap battle coincidin wit a thugged-out debt downgrade; a supply chain disruption caused by tha Japanese earthquake; commoditizzle n' gas price spikes; fiscal drag at both tha federal n' state levels; a thugged-out dramatically evolvin monetary policy framework; a erection n' fiscal cliff battle; a perpetual near-disasta up in Europe n' slowin emergin market growth.
In dat light, tha followin line up in todizzle’s payrolls report is worth a quick remark...
FOMC minutes: hawkish hints yo, but not straight-up
These minutes is fo' tha meetin at which tha Fed announced its switch ta a version of tha Evans’ Rule. While dat chizzle was expected, it wasn’t sposed ta fuckin be done cooked up as soon as it ultimately was.
Da most horny-ass bit from tha minutes below up in bold, followed by some quick commentary. Read more
Even operating leases become more....more....I'm not sure what they become, you tell me:
Operatin leases: tha oldschool skool of off balizzle shizzle vehiclez
Operatin leases may not sound all dat sexy yo, but they is a pimped out way ta git liabilitizzles off balizzle sheet. Even better, loadz of g-units bust ‘em, muthafucka! Everyone do it, from airlines ta threadz stores, so no need ta feel like tha odd naughty one up fo' realz. All it takes be a lil structurin ta ensure dat a gangbangin' finizzle (aka capital) lease — which does significantly raise liabilitizzles — is booked as a operatin lease, keepin debt levels down.

Why then do accountin standard settas wanna spoil tha parrr-tay by requirin operatin leases ta come back onto balizzle sheets, biatch? Read more
Google search for FTA.

And here's Climateer Investing.
And a recent post:

What Do tha Closure of Switzerlandz Oldskoolest Bank Means fo' Swiss Private Banking?
First they came fo' Sarasin n' I didn't drop a rhyme up cuz I wasn't a....Oh wait. That was a gangbangin' thugged-out buyout by Safra ta block Baer. Never mind.
And apologies ta tha literary estate of Pastor Niemöller.

From tha Wall Street Journal Europez Da Source blog:
Wegelin Case Highlights Private Bankin Chizzlez
Wegelin & Co’s Fridizzle announcement dat it will close afta admitting dat it helped Americans avoid taxes by hidin assets up in overseas accounts marks tha sickest fuckin blow ta a industry reelin from a strang of regulatory chizzles.

In tha case of Wegelin, U.S. authoritizzles holla'd tha bank helped clients hide $1.2 bazillion up in assets. Da firm pleaded guilty ta a cold-ass lil criminal conspiracy charge.

Philip Marcovici, a gangmember of tha board of wealth manager Kaiser Partner, holla'd recent charges brought against private banks n' wealth managers fo' helpin foreigners hide assets abroad highlight fundamental industry chizzlez dat firms should have anticipated.

Ray Soudah, smoker of independent M&A advisory firm Millennium Associates, holla'd Wegelin’s closure illustrated a trend dat will force mergers on Swiss private banks cuttin they exposure ta undeclared client assets up in Europe n' tha U.S., where tax has not been paid.

Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soudah holla'd: “This will lead ta a significant reduction up in they revenue n' force a reassessment of tha high cost of front offices, which is straight-up unjustified.”...MORE
I be thinkin dat leaves Banque J.P yo. Hottinguer & Ciez successor-Banque Hottinger & Cie as tha crazy oldschool and at least tha crazy oldschool family-owned bank up in Switzerland.
Herez tha Henokeins Association of most of tha ghettoz crazy oldschool gang bidnizzes, it looks like Hottinguer nudges up Lombard Odier by a thugged-out decade n' Pictet by 19 years.

So now our crazy-ass asses figure up whoz ass sells n' whoz ass buys.

Switzerlandz Oldskoolest Bank ta Close Permanently