Year of the Fire Monkey
Happy Lunar New Year
(we're a few days late to this, sorry)
Monkey businessHow will you and the Hang Seng Index fare with the primate in 2016? Our Feng Shui guide, now in its 22nd incarnation, offers an alternative look at what’s in store this year to help the luck flow in your direction.Like astrologists summoned in the West by politicians and lesser mortals, Feng Shui masters are valued in the Orient by those looking to foretell the future. If you're running a hedge fund, no doubt you'll take our sorcerer’s view on the year ahead with a pinch of salt, but curiosity if not superstition may get the better of you.So stop monkeying around and scroll down to see all manner of forecasts. Our longstanding health warning holds: don’t be a silly monkey and take it too seriously!
Some predictions - All the thrills and spills
New antibiotic brought to market - herbal source declared protected plant · Cloud bursts in massive internet security leak - nothing remains private · South China Sea shipwreck, submerged construction rubble blamed · Google announces new device to allow “reverse smell” searches - pop in your sample to locate the accursed source · “VR disease” explodes with record numbers refusing to remove their Virtual Reality goggles. New “strictly analog” wings planned for psych hospitals · Robot pet plague. Rogue Aibos on the loose, terrify Zoomer Kittys off the street · Major liberalisation in Vietnam as wealth effect prompts popular movement ·
First singing chimp hits top 40 with hip-hop screech track, Bape-attack! · Spate of power blackouts hit global bank data-servers - exposes downside of digital assets · La Nina blamed for record-low temperatures · Air-borne disease threatens Rio Games · Celebrity engagement hits a snag · Gold rallies in September · Mike Nesmith reforms Monkees · New star rises with Elvis Presley covers · Shabani the gorilla releases a line of fragrances · Google translate includes emojis · Plastics cure discovered - harmless chemical hastens decomposition of previously “longlife” pollutant · Oil pricing goes negative; Saudi starts paying people to take the stuff...