Saturday, April 19, 2008

KINKY NEWS NETWORK: CNN'S QUEST A VERY 'KNOTTY' BOY (Off-topic)

From the New York Post:

CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park early yesterday with some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot, law-enforcement sources said.

...The criminal complaint against Quest said the park was closed at the time - something Quest should have known because of all the signs saying "Park Closed 1 a.m. to 6 a.m."

Quest was initially busted for loitering, the source said. Aside from the oddly configured rope, the search also turned up a sex toy inside of his boot, and a small bag of methamphetamine in his left jacket pocket.

It wasn't immediately clear what the rope was for.

The criminal complaint says the officer at the scene was able to ID the drug because of "his prior experience as a police officer in drug arrests, observation of packaging which is characteristic of this type of drug, and defendant's statements that . . . 'I've got some meth in my pocket.' "

..."He has become one of the network's highest profile presenters," and his "dynamic and distinctive style has made him a unique figure in the field of business and news broadcasting," the network's Web site says.

He was reportedly once offered a position for the English-language version of the controversial Al Jazeera network, but said he turned it down because being gay and Jewish, he didn't think it would be a good fit.

When I was younger I would sometimes read the newspaper to some folks in a nursing home. One day I was reading them a story about a sexual harassment lawsuit:

"...at that point, the plaintiff states, the defendant produced a..."
and I started laughing. Hard.

"Well what was it?" one of the geezers asked.

I composed myself:

"A mechanical jumping penis"

and I lost it, as did this roomful of seniors, except for one little old lady who murmured* "The hell you say"

My sentiments exactly.


*Moby Thesaurus words for "murmured":

   barely audible, decrescendo, dim, distant, faint,
faint-voiced, feeble, gentle, half-heard
indistinct, low, pianissimo, piano, scarcely heard,
soft, soft-sounding, soft-voiced, subaudible,
subdued, unclear, weak, weak-voiced, whispered