From the Babylonian Bee, November 1:
ATLANTA, GA — Local dad Brad O'Malley reportedly disappointed his young children this morning by informing them that the results of his inspection of their Halloween candy may be delayed for up to two weeks.
According to the O'Malley children, whose candy was confiscated last night immediately after their return from trick-or-treating, their dad let them know that "technical difficulties" had resulted in unavoidable delays in completing the annual candy inspection process.
"I'm really sorry, guys, but you'll just have to bear with me," O'Malley reportedly said. "We've got a lot of candy to go through here. With so many pieces, this isn't something that can be done overnight. We want to make sure every piece of candy is accounted for, including late-arriving candy from the more densely populated urban areas. We appreciate your patience in this matter."....
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Earlier -"Joint ODNI, FBI, and CISA Statement"
