Equity Conundrums: Who Buys DryShips? (DRYS)

I may have suffered a mini-stroke or a TIA or something.
Lets run through the F.A.S.T. checklist:

Face drooping: No, more of a laughter rictus.
Arm weakness: maybe-I have fallen on the floor and seem to be losing control of some bodily functions.
Speech difficulties: can't talk, actually, can't breathe.
Time: to call for help

I was not expecting the answer to the headline question to be this pithy. 

From FT Alphaville:

Who buys DRYS?
By: Paul Murphy

Idiots, obviously

Do read on. 

I think I'll be okay now.