Scientists Coming To The Aid of Panicked Stock Traders

 DJIA futures are down 218 with 2o minutes to the bell.
From Harvard's own Improbable Research:

Headline of the day: Engineering a better anal sphincter

Today’s Headline of the Day comes from the science blog called ScienceBlog reports:

Researchers use human cells to engineer functional anal sphincters in lab
Researchers have built the first functional anal sphincters in the laboratory, suggesting a potential future treatment for both fecal and urinary incontinence. Made from muscle and nerve cells, the sphincters developed a blood supply and maintained function when implanted in mice. The results are reported in the medical journal Gastroenterology….

The study’s senior author, Kahlil N. Bitar, is pictured here.
(Thanks to investigator Mark Dionne for bringing this to our attention, and for suggesting a more-or-less unprintable way to paraphrase that headline.)

Also at Improbable Research:
Why casinos might ban gamblers who have tatoos