Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Fake Steve Jobs on John Doerr, Venture Capital, Ethanol

From The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs:

John Doerr of Kleiner Perkins, your efforts to save the planet by investing in ethanol (and similar efforts by your fellow Valley VCs) are now causing people to starve. Nice work, Valley frigtards. For video of John Doerr crying about global warming, see here. You think he's crying now, too? Now that the big ethanol initiative is fucking up the forests and taking food from people's mouths? Did it ever occur to you idiots that your efforts might have some unintended consequences? Please tell me you did not just rush in with your stupid Valley money and your stupid Valley hubris and fuck up the world's entire food system. Did you? Er ...

...Or maybe this hunger issue could be the next project for Bob Metcalfe and his one pair of glasses to solve. You could create PoverNet, modeled after the Internet, and, um, you know, like, figure out the hunger issue. You could have conferences. With Richard Branson and Jimmy Wales. Lots of PowerPoint slides. Lots of little startups with clever names. Honestly, where's the big VC effort in solving hunger? Why haven't they ever gone after that problem? Oh, right. No money in it.