I just received a Nigerian 419 scam email, better written than most. And heartwarming:
It is of utmost important that you take your time to read this mail after which you can ask me any question you may deem necessary. I am a branch manager of The Co-Operative Bank Plc based in England United Kingdom, in the course of my job; I discovered an account, which has been dormant for the past sixteen years. This account has been dormant for ten years before my emergence as the branch manager.
I have carried out an investigation to know who the owner of this account is and why the account has been left dormant, my investigation reveals that the account belongs to an African Leader who visited the United Kingdom in 1992 opened an account with the sum of £4,000.00 in our bank.
The rest of the fund that entered the account was money being transferred from the politicians home country. The account has been continuously credited and never debited for once for a period of nine months. As at December 1992, the account balance was totalling over $50,000,000.00, as the account is a domiciliary one.
From December 1992 till date, no money has been credited or debited from the account and this was what raised my curiosity. My finding has revealed that the account was in the name of the politicians concubine who unfortunately died in a car crash. The politician does not have any way of laying claim to the money and the name used as the next of kin is fictitious.
To make the matter worst, the politician is facing a lot of challenges in his country and as such is not interested in any thing that will bring his name to the press as he is facing too much already.
You may ask why I decided to write you. I did because I want you to assist me lay claim to the fund based on the fact that your name coincides with the fictitious name used as next of kin. All I need is your readiness to assist then I will tell you all that needs to be done.
You dont need to be afraid of any thing as I am an insider and will provide you with every detailed information and clean plan on how we are going to go about it. I will need to have your phone number so that we can talk more elaborately. This is because I need to be assured of your confidentiality and trust. Please get back to via my private emaill address email@example.com
Fam that I never knew I had!
I picture the Climateer clan, gathered around the dinner table somewhere in Lagos, retelling the story of the politician and the concubine.
To self-reference this post:
"Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Four shots ripped into my groin, and I was off on the biggest adventure of my life..."