From Sixth Tone, September 2:
Chinese women are fed up with dating self-absorbed men. Now, “butler cafés” are offering them more attentive male company — for a fee.
SHANGHAI — At 40 years old, Zheng says she’s tired of searching for the perfect man. So she’s decided to hire one instead.
Whenever she feels like some male company, the divorcée heads to a café in central Shanghai named The Promised Land. There, she spends hours being pampered by a handsome young server, who fetches her drinks, watches movies with her, and listens attentively to her anecdotes.
The sessions cost over 400 yuan ($60) each time, but Zheng says they’re worth every cent.
“The butlers respect me and care about my feelings,” she tells Sixth Tone. “Even if you have a boyfriend, he might not be this sweet, right?”
Zheng’s favorite hangout is a “butler café” — a new concept that’s generating enormous buzz on Chinese social media by offering women the kind of male attention they desire.
Originally from Japan, butler cafés allow customers to spend time with a team of dashing young waiters for an hourly fee. They’re a counterpart to the more mainstream “maid cafés,” which feature waitresses dressed in maid costumes serving a primarily male clientele.
Now, the businesses are spreading rapidly in major Chinese cities; the review site Dianping lists dozens of outlets offering “butler” services. Posts about the cafés have frequently gone viral on the Instagram-like social platform Xiaohongshu in recent months.
The outlets have found success by tapping into the frustrations of Chinese women, many of whom feel society remains far too patriarchal. Studies have found that China’s wives are less happy in their relationships than their husbands in all age groups.
Mero, one of The Promised Land’s three female co-founders, says the café aims to give women a space where they have control.
“Our mission is simple: We want to take care of women’s needs as much as possible,” says Mero, who, along with her employees and customers, spoke with Sixth Tone using a pseudonym for privacy reasons.
At the Promised Land, which opened last October, customers can choose which man they want, what activities they’ll do together, and even how he’ll dress (a traditional suit and tie or a Japanese-style school uniform are popular choices). They can also book a butler to accompany them on shopping trips and other errands through the café’s “one-day boyfriend” service.
Most of the clientele are university-educated women, who are more “open-minded,” according to Mero. They spend 600 yuan per visit on average, though some pay as much as 25,000 yuan to become VIP members — giving them access to special parties with the butlers and other perks.
Wang Qian, a 24-year-old student, is a regular visitor to the café. She tells Sixth Tone she enjoys the feeling of empowerment she gets from spending time there.
According to Wang, many of the men she meets in normal life are pu xin nan — a term popularized by the female comedian Yang Li that roughly translates as “men who are so average, yet so confident.” The butlers, however, are considerate and never mansplain anything to her, she says....
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