There Was A Rumor That David Keohane Had Returned To FT Alphaville For A Limited Engagement

But I'm not sure it's true.
The D. Keohane we had come to know has the soul of a poet and the grace of....well, a large man, but surprisingly light on his feet.

I'll leave it up to the reader to make the determination but to my ear this is coarser than what DJ Funky K. or co-rapper J. Kelly would post and may be a sign that Alphaville has been hacked.
From Da Ville:

Da faecal parasite known as crypto is havin another outbreak

Yo ass may have noticed dat crypto disease is fuckin wit another outbreak. Warnin signs is everywhere: scams is on tha rise, Tether is bein printed all up in tha rate of $100m every last muthafuckin 24 hours, n' playas is makin wack price predictions wit rocket emojis again.

From Newsweek on Wednesday, under tha headline: "CRYPTO, A FECAL PARASITE OFTEN SPREAD BY SWIMMING, IS CAUSING AN INCREASE IN ILLNESS OUTBREAKS, CDC SAYS" (emphasis ours):

    Cryptosporidium infection (cryptosporidiosis) be a illnizz caused by tiny, cryptosporidium parasites dat live up in gin n juice n' shit. When tha parasites enta yo' body, they travel ta yo' lil' small-ass intestine n' burrow tha fuck into yo' intestinal walls. Later, tha parasites is shed all up in yo' poop, say Mayo Clinic . . .

    In most healthy people, Crypto produces a funky-ass bout of diarrhoea, n' tha infection probably clears within two weeks. But if you gotz a cold-ass lil compromised immune system, Crypto can be game-threatenin without proper treatment. Other symptoms include stomach cramps, nausea, vomitin n' fever n' shit.

Thatz right. "Crypto" is short fo' cryptosporidium, n' be a nasty fecal parasite dat is often caught up in hood swimmin pools (the masta picture was not just gratuitous vulgarity). Well shiiiit, it causes not just diarrhoea yo, but also nausea (a symptom our crazy asses have experienced) n' fever (a symptom our crazy asses have observed).

Da CDC (the Centas fo' Disease Control n' Prevention) is havin ta put up a warnin cuz "Crypto-related illnesses" is on tha rise, n' can sometimes cause dirtnap. (See Quadriga CX.)

Gives tha term "shitcoins" a whole freshly smoked up nuizzle don't it, biatch? Turns up dat our asses aint tha only ones ta have cottoned on ta that, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. From crypto(currency) shizzle joint CCN:....MUCH MORE

Yes, it appears FTAV has been hacked by a mid-90's rap-Dogg
If I could make one small suggestion, rather than the perfectly serviceable pic used to illustrate the post:

If we could maybe go old school, something along the lines of these prints from the Rijksmuseum, used as commentary on the Dutch 'Wind Trade' bubble of 1720.

Here's a nice one

And should you wish to make Snoop Dogg a permanent fixture, Gizoogle Turns Yo MuthaF’in Website All Gangsta Yo:
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