Move over plonk, it's Grape Britain now.
First up, The Guardian, December 21:
Weather and increase in plantings lead to bumper conditions for wine production
British vineyards have hauled in their greatest ever grape harvest as a “near perfect year” for weather combined with more land in production.
The industry is expecting to produce up to 22m bottles of wine this year, almost twice the 12.2m last year, according to the WineGB trade body.
That is thanks to a grape harvest 50% bigger than the last record haul five years ago. Yields per hectare almost doubled on 2022 to 9.6 tonnes, from 5 last year and the previous high of 7.1 in 2018.
The amount of land in production is also up – by 170 hectares (420 acres) year on year to 3,400, which is 1,200 hectares ahead of 2018.
Nicola Bates, WineGB chief executive, said: “There was a silver lining to our miserable summer, and that is a fantastic season for wine. UK consumers are drinking more and more home produce and at the same time exports are going up, especially in the Nordics and Japan.”
Most production goes to sparkling wines, which will not be available for at least two years, but still wines made this year could be on shelves in the spring....
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And from the Wall Street Journal, also December 21:
How to Become a Wine Snob in 5 Exhausting Steps
It takes some time and effort, plus the willingness to annoy your fellow wine drinkers. But our wine columnist—a self-confessed occasional snob herself—has some guidance for the truly committed.
WHENEVER WINE is a topic of conversation, I’ve noticed that any oenophile who talks a bit too much about his or her favorite beverage risks being labeled a wine snob. This is unfair, not to mention inaccurate. It takes real time and dedication to become a true wine snob—and, as a confessed occasional snob, I certainly should know. There are rules to be followed and attitudes to adopt if one wishes to achieve full-on snob status and the accompanying capacity to impress and intimidate fellow drinkers in equal measure. Here’s my shortcut guide to achieving superstar snobbery—or recognizing a snob in your midst.
1. Talk about your ‘wine journey.’
A wine snob must start somewhere. Most seem to start by drinking prestigious bottles of Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. After a respectable stretch of time drinking and talking about Napa Cabs (and how much they cost), a would-be snob often progresses to the wines of Bordeaux, preferably big names such as Château Lafite Rothschild, Château Latour and Château Mouton Rothschild, though certain second growths, such as Château Cos d’Estournel, are acceptable, too. These wines were ranked according to the 1855 Bordeaux Classification, a list of elite châteaux, created at the command of Napoleon III, which to this day makes clear to many wine drinkers which Bordeaux are the “best.”While snobs will agree there are worthy wines made in California and Italy’s Piedmont region (and maybe, just maybe, a few other places in the world), the wine region with the greatest snob appeal is Burgundy. Red Burgundy is notably subtle, nuanced and variable—the region’s primary red-wine grape is, after all, the delicate, ever-so-finicky Pinot Noir—and therefore more complicated to produce and to understand. Because Burgundy’s wines are ranked according to vineyard (grand cru and premier cru), a real snob must know which individual Burgundy domaines make the best grand-cru wines. (Not all producers of grand crus are equal.) And finally, Burgundy’s very greatest wines are much rarer than even Bordeaux’s best wines—produced in much smaller quantities and often much more expensive, as well. Wine snobs will never fail to drive this point home.
2. Espouse a wine ‘philosophy.’
Wine snobs must formulate not just reasons but entire philosophies regarding why they drink the wines they do. They must also be compelled to share these “philosophies” with other drinkers, regardless of whether the latter have the least bit of interest. Snobs must champion the highly specific viticultural practices of vintners as high-minded as themselves. That means snobs may only drink wines made via sustainable or organic or biodynamic vineyard practices, and preferably all three—though a snob may or may not actually know what these terms mean. (For the record, a winery identified as biodynamic or organic must follow defined protocols, while a winery calling itself sustainable can qualify for this distinction under a wide range of conditions.)Wine snobs also patronize restaurants whose sommeliers possess wine philosophies. A wine director who simply chooses wines that will complement the cuisine or contribute to the restaurant’s bottom line will not do. Rather, a wine snob looks for somms who “curate” wines onto their lists because their producers have philosophies with which they agree. (Snobs love the word curate and employ it as often as possible.)
3. Develop an intense interest in glassware....
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So a Kentish sparkler is the new scamp of the vineyards? I'm going to have to brush up on the lingo.
A wine joke:
The wine tasting was lovely until a self-professed oeniphile started droning on about the "oily richness" of some scamp of the vineyards, describing another as having "the faintest soupçon of asparagus and the tremulousness of a mimolette.” and extolling the merits of some Château de prétense no one had ever heard of.Finally, pausing to take a breath he said "Je vais à Bordeaux" and one of his not-so-enthralled audience asked "What's that mean?" to which the oeni-weeny replied "I'm going to Bordeaux".His interlocutor then asked, "Who's Doe?"That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
—from our 2013 post "Dimson et al: 'The impact of aging on wine prices and the performance of wine as a long-term investment'"
Somehow related:
"The 6 Most Statistically Full of Shit Professions"
