Sunday, January 11, 2015

HBR: "Advice for Dealing with a Long-Winded Leader"

From the Harvard Business Review:

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It can be tricky to tell people that they talk too much. And in cases where the offender is someone more powerful, like a senior executive or important customer, it can be downright risky. As a result, many “victims” have been suffering in silence for years in meetings that never end or conversations that drain the life out of them. As the saying goes, a rich man’s jokes are always funny.

How do you put an end to this agony? There’s no instant fix, but in addition to understanding why some people go on, and on, and on… there is a strategic approach you can use to spare yourself and everyone around you. While it shouldn’t be used all the time, it can help you build stronger relationships by moving from one-sided monologues to conversations.

First, more on why leaders can be long-winded. Executives sometimes find it hard to stop monopolizing a discussion because delivering a monologue feels so good. As a study by Harvard University researchers revealed, talking so much triggers a sensation of reward similar to that of sex, money, or food. It’s a power kick for big talkers to grab the mic — and hard for listeners to wrestle it from them once they’ve fallen in love with the sound of their own voice.

There are other reasons successful professionals tend to ramble. Sometimes they suffer from performance anxiety. They feel they have to put on a show. Or they may underestimate how busy and attention-starved their listeners are. The average attention span, they may not be aware, is now under 10 seconds....MORE