Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"The Ten Commandments of Pointless Office Meetings"

From McSweeny's:
1. Thou shalt have no other meeting but this one and thou shalt not even think of checking thy iPhone to see what the market is doing or check the Pirates’ latest trade or even add that hand-painted platter from West Elm to your Pinterest board.

2. Thou shalt have no idea what the purpose of said meeting is.

3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s coffee, not even if thy neighbor shows up late with a grande latte and a vanilla scone that leaves grease marks on the paper bag, not even if thy neighbor pours French roast out of a stainless steel Thermos into a mug on which a clever and biting saying is printed.

4. Thou shalt read thy PowerPoint verbatim and thou shalt include clipart in thy PowerPoint that is totally unrelated to the content of thy presentation and thy clipart shall be animated with sound effects.

5. Thou shalt take notes and thou shalt use the margins of thy notes to create doodles worthy of the Sistine Chapel and thou shalt update thy status to “in another fucking mtg.”...