Eager to right the struggling economy, President-elect Barack Obama unveiled a $700 billion stimulus plan designed to create 3 million new Steve Jobs over the next two years. “American innovation, ingenuity and looking good in jeans is what makes this country great,” Obama said. “No one embodies that spirit more than Steve Jobs.”The co-founder of Apple, Inc., Steve Jobs’ leadership has led to the Macintosh, the iPod and TV commercials that viewers actually watch. Obama’s new “Jobs’ Jobs” plan calls for replicating Steve’s DNA and injecting it into 3 million unemployed Americans, producing exact copies, or iClones, of the mercurial CEO. These new Jobs are expected to invigorate every American industry, from technology to cars to razors that leave a sexy stubble.
“Consumer confidence and enthusiasm will never be higher. Americans will celebrate the unveiling of the wireless stapler, and they’ll stand in lines for days at the grocery store to buy iCorn,” Obama said.
The clothing industry has already received a boost due to unprecedented demand for black mock-turtleneck shirts and blue jeans with adjustable shrinking waistbands. Psychologists also expect an increase in clients when the Jobs iClones become smug, vain and vindictive fast food restaurant managers....MORE
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