North Korea's Kim Jong Un at the New Year

Via DPRK News Service:

New year resolutions for Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un include increased production of buckwheat and coal, ideological harmony of Korean people, and bringing about thermonuclear armageddon for United States.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) December 29, 2017

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un predicts bitterness, frustration, and continued impotence in United States football match between University of Southern California and Ohio State.

No winner prePublished (28887)dicted.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) December 29, 2017

Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea assurance of Russian Federation borders staves off Polish invasion in 2017.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) December 27, 2017

It was a close-run thing but thanks be to Kim.

DPRK News Service