Tuesday, June 5, 2012

"Canada Bracing for Massive Influx of Wisconsin Boat People"

Thanks (I think) to a reader.
While we don't get too political at CI, this story transcends politics and has the potential to become a human tragedy.

From the Borowitz Report:
OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of  boat people from Wisconsin.

Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a “substantial flotilla” in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.

“Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here,” Mr. McGlindon said.  “You can’t blame these boat people for seeking a better life.  But we are under orders to intercept them.”

In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called “anchor babies” on Canadian soil.

Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superior’s northern shore....MORE