Speaking of Politicians...

Oh hell, I might as well go directly to America's Finest News Source:

Husband, Wife Unaware They Are A Comedy Team 03.07.09

San Francisco Historians Condemn 1906 Earthquake Deniers 03.06.09

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Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair

Rock-Bottom Loser Entertaining Offers From Several Religions

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

Potential Baldness Cure Leads Man To Reverse Position On Stem-Cell Research

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• People Of Earth, I Lack Basic Social Skills

  By Robert Stubinsky
  10.01.08

• This Year's Tri-County Agribusiness Awards Were A Damn Travesty

  By Doak Cumberland
  03.31.99

• We're Investing So Much In Alternative Fuels, Sometimes We Almost Forget To Pump Oil!

  By Tony Hayward
  07.09.08

• My Son And His Friends Will Never Find My Secret Playboy Stash

  By Matt Solomon
  12.05.07

• Today's Neo-Nazis Have No Respect For Tradition

  By Karl Quandt
  01.24.07

• Converting To The Metric System Starts With The Individual

  By Theresa Kincaid
  10.27.04

Corrections

Last week, The Onion reported that in exchange for a prominent position in the New World Order, it had given its unconditional allegiance to the leaders of Operation Omega. That was a typo. There is no Operation Omega. Everyone should go about their business as usual on Mar. 24.

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