"Deutsche Bank Officially Riskier Than Unprotected Sex With A Junkie" (DB)

Well that certainly seems a more constructive measure than using volatility as your risk bogey.

From DealBreaker:

In our last edition of “What’s Ailing Deutsche Bank/Should They Just Scrap The Whole Thing And Go Home,” we added the comically large figure the Justice Department threw out as its initial offer to settle DB’s mortgage-related messiness: $14 billion. As most of you can probably imagine, the Germans’ response was, “Do we look like the kind of bank that just has $14 billion lying around, let alone half or one quarter of that?” Today, we get to tack on this bit of news/misery/reason for CEO John Cryan to weep into his sauerkraut:

Deutsche Bank AG’s status as the riskiest among its peers is worsening...

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