Wednesday, July 31, 2013

"Build Your Own Fed Statement"

From Mortgage Daily News:
Parsing the Fed is everyone's favorite game, so before the Fed wraps its fifth meeting of 2013 this afternoon, it's time to play "Build Your Own Fed Statement!" It's easy to win, just choose your favorite answers from the bold options in the Ted Statement below.

Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in May suggests that (economic activity; MLB trading deadline drama; looming angst among Red Sox and Cardinals fans) has been expanding at a moderate pace.  

(Labor market conditions; renewed Twinkie supplies; Detroit municipal legal fees) have shown further improvement in recent months, on balance, but the (unemployment rate; distress levels for volume challenged lenders; A-Rod drama) remains elevated.

Household spending and business fixed investment advanced, and the housing sector has strengthened further, but fiscal policy is (restraining economic growth; disjointed per usual; coherent for imaginative economists). 

Partly reflecting (transitory influences; plummeting loan officers' payrolls; dwindling Biogenesis revenues), inflation has been running below the Committee's longer-run objective, but longer-term inflation expectations have remained stable.

Consistent with its statutory mandate, the Committee seeks to (foster maximum employment and price stability; ensure its legacy for posterity; achieve certain post term Ivy League employment).

The Committee expects that, with appropriate (policy accommodation; rampant federal spending; Wolverine box office receipts), economic growth will proceed at a moderate pace and the unemployment rate will gradually decline toward levels the Committee judges consistent with its dual mandate.

The Committee sees the downside risks to the outlook for the economy and the labor market as having diminished since the fall. The Committee also anticipates that (inflation; congressional approval ratings; Milwaukee Brewers' miniscule playoff prospects) over the medium term likely will run at or below its 2 percent objective....MORE 
A gallant attempt but no match for "Attention Journalists: 'How to write about pointless international organisations'":

The Financial Times' Alan Beattie wrote this bit of brilliance last year for the G8 meeting. His friend Gideon Rachman duly posted it on his FT Rachmanblog. I am reposting it in full to bookmark for future reference:

...Alan then forwarded me a generic column on international institutions that he has written. It really says it all - and I think I may simply reproduce it, every year, round about G8 time.
It goes as follows:
By reporters everywhere
An ineffectual international organisation yesterday issued a stark warning about a situation it has absolutely no power to change, the latest in a series of self-serving interventions by toothless intergovernmental bodies.

“We are seriously concerned about this most serious outbreak of seriousness,” said the head of the institution, either a former minister from a developing country or a mid-level European or American bureaucrat.

“This is a wake-up call to the world. They must take on board the vital message that my organisation exists.”

The director of the body, based in one of New York, Washington or an agreeable Western European city, was speaking at its annual conference, at which ministers from around the world gather to wring their hands impotently about the most fashionable issue of the day. The organisation has sought to justify its almost completely fruitless existence by joining its many fellow talking-shops in highlighting whatever crisis has recently gained most coverage in the global media.

“Governments around the world must come together to combat whatever this year’s worrying situation has turned out to be,” the director said. “It is not yet time to panic, but if it goes on much further without my institution gaining some credit for sounding off on the issue, we will be justified in labelling it a crisis.”...MUCH MORE