Thursday, June 22, 2017

The FT Thinks They're Gawker

One ignorant comment to start today's Uberfest:
A cool aspect of subject mastery is the sense of effortlessness that emanates from someone who really, really knows their stuff and you recognize it when you see it.
Further, the ability to riff on a topic is directly related to that mastery. From Jonathan Swift to P.G. Wodehouse to Joseph Heller and his Catch-22 and South Park's Matt Stone and Trey Parker, they get it and you know they get it.

To that group I would add the unknown scribe toiling under the nom de blog FT Alphaville, unby-lined and unrecognized:

Wanted: CEO to lead troubled startup 
Uber Technologies Inc is an eight-year-old taxi company based in San Francisco. Its backers include some of the world’s smartest technology investors, like Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund.

The company is at a crossroads. We are looking for a chief executive to replace our famously aggressive founder, who remains on the board and retains a ton of voting rights. Candidates will need to demonstrate experience in putting lipstick on pigs, putting out dumpster fires and leading businesses as they pivot from ‘hot mess’ to ‘performatively woke’.

A successful applicant will be able to avoid saying anything sexist during their interview. They will have interests that include sharing, subsidising and running rings around regulators. They must be a people person — regrettably the company is yet to replace its people with robots.

Uber is a fast growing business with operations across the world. Candidates should have a track record of running large, unprofitable ventures whose valuation hangs over them like a sword. Experience fending off emerging market rivals that pose existential risks will be considered a bonus.
The role will be on a contract basis and compensation will be determined by our proprietary algorithm. Surge pricing may be applied on days the company is in court....MORE 
Mr Williams doesn't know Uber as well as the anonymous writer and instead projects his biases into the satire.
There was a lot of that going around yesterday.