Just kidding, that's an attempt at a cheap laugh, Simmons is actually pretty sharp, though a bit pretentious.
Here's Barron's, May 25:
KISS frontman Gene Simmons stopped by recently to talk with Barron’s about the music business, investing, politics, and his latest business ventures, including soda and cannabis. Our conversation, below, has been edited for length and clarity.
Barron’s: If KISS were starting out now in the age of music streaming, would you be as successful?
Gene Simmons: You’d have to go back in a time machine to when there was civility and structure, because it’s chaos now. As soon as Napster and schmapster and schmeckle-head and all the rest of them started to download and file-share for free—stealing—it was the hole that sunk the Titanic.
I’m a rich son of a b— and all that, but we came before. It breaks my heart that a new band starting today doesn’t have a chance in hell of making it. There’s no model that works. There’s plenty of talent out there, but play a quick game: From 1958 to 1988 you had Elvis, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, and Madonna. But since 1988, who are the new Beatles?
Who is the greatest American rock band of all time?
The Americans don’t have it. We invented this thing—rhythm and blues and rock ’n’ roll, all that—but the English do it much better. The Beatles and the Stones and just a thousand bands. In America. . .the Grateful Dead? Bums with guitars around their necks. Guys that should be on Duck Dynasty instead of onstage. Three Dog Night. . .Three Dog Night?
What about Creedence Clearwater Revival?
But you don’t care who’s in it. They’re not stars. The English are stars.
You have a tour coming up—a farewell tour.
I didn’t say that.
OK, a tour. The Wall Street Journal reports that Taylor Swift is raising ticket prices to combat scalping, even if some seats go unsold. Is that a good idea?
That’s called capitalism. Supply and demand. Everything is arbitrary. You stretch the rubber band as far as it can go before it snaps. You would rather stretch more if it can go. Taylor can raise her ticket prices. She is enormously popular, and she’ll do just fine. Now, can a reunion of Three Dog Night do that? No—because the demand isn’t there.
What’s the most you have ever heard of someone paying for a seat at a KISS concert?
Do you know that person?
Well sure, because we charge 50 grand now for me to visit your home and tell you how nice your curtains are for two hours.
You spoke at the Money Show in Las Vegas. Do you handle your own investments?
I don’t sit at home and press buttons and buy. I like to keep my snoot close to the ground, and anything I decide to invest in I actually know something about. The Warren Buffett school of do your goddamn due diligence, kick the tires yourself, learn as much as you can, and then—from a position of being informed—tell your guys, you know, “I think this is good. What do you think?”
Do you invest in Spotify Technology?
No. You’re buying perception. Perception is value. We agree that diamonds and gold are valuable because we agree on it. If women weren’t interested in diamonds, diamonds would be f—.
Are you optimistic about the stock market?
Yes. When I rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange in 2008, the Dow was right under 8000. A broadcaster asked me what I thought about disaster—Black Friday, Sunny Tuesday, and so on. I said, what are you talking about? America invented this. In other countries, the despots and dictators invest in America. Am I the first one saying buy low, sell high? It’s a good time. You like biotech? Buy biotech. You eat burgers? Buy McDonald’s. Invest in what you know. We are now at 24,700, something like that, and there is no question in my mind we are going to go past 30,000.
At the end of the day the masses aren’t aware of the market or where the Dow is. All they want to know is, can I feed my family and is the country safe? One is political and the other is economic. You try to pick, hopefully, the people who can represent you that can fulfill those two wishes
We should look at ourselves the way terrorists like the al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades and Al-Qaeda do. They think of us as just Americans. We are the ones who say “Democrats” and all that. We see a difference, they don’t see a difference at all. They just think we are all Americans. Hey, that’s a good idea. Let’s all be Americans, because the people that don’t agree with you and may be on the lower floor—actually, it’s their America as well....
Principal, Motion Wealth Advisors, estimated net worth $300 million+
*Praise Be: The Pan Arabia Enquirer Is Back In Business
Middle East satire site concedes defeat after labourers forced to run Qatari marathon in flip-flops
I am finding it difficult to choose just one post to highlight PAE's triumphant return so here is what one of the feedreaders looked like earlier today (links at the timestamps):....Editors at semi-popular Middle East satire news website The Pan-Arabia Enquirer yesterday revealed that they had “given up” in their long-running struggle to keep ahead of reality.http://yahoo.thepostgame.com/blog/heroes-villains/201504/workers-qatar-forced-run-marathon-shoeless-bid-guinness-world-record
The announcement came following last week’s news that labourers working in Qatar had been coerced into taking part in a marathon, with many bussed in from their dormitories and forced to run in jeans and flip-flops as part of a failed bid to break the world record for number of participants.
“Honestly, simply cannot compete in these sorts of conditions,” said Enquirer acting editor Baltimore Stafford in a statement.
“Over the years, we’ve had to deal with a growing trend of real-life trying to outdo satire, especially in Saudi Arabia, but this is beyond our capabilities. To be honest, we could have probably worked around the whole ‘labourers forced to take part in marathon’ bit, but with the addition of flip-flops, jeans and the fact it was a shambolic attempt to break a record, we’ve had to concede defeat.”