Thursday, December 8, 2011

Business Plans: Keep it Pimpin' Edition

One of our top 20 posts of the last year. Originally posted Dec. 15, 2010.

Original post:
One of these days I'll do a post or two on business plans. For now:
From Vice Magazine's Viceland Today blog (we have 1300 feeds, what can I say):


Speaking of great amateur literature, here’s a detailed business plan from a pimp that outlines his strategy to expand business and “take care my bitches more better” titled, “Keep it Pimpin’.”

Judging from this guy’s lofty goals, we can only assume he’s small time and probably deals primarily in broken-ass hoes who don’t yield a high rate of return right now, but if he follows through with his plan to “discover hoes from all over (jail house, small cities),” and stays “high in pursuit looking for a prostitute,” his goal–to take his “game to the next level (from the concrete streets, to executive suites)” will be realized before he knows it. There is, however, one glaring omission from his business outline, and that’s the mention of slapping his product. Any pimp worth his weight in vagina knows sometimes the girls will get out of line. It’s important to have a record of your disciplinary intentions to keep both parties (pimps and prostitutes) on the same page.

It’s sort of hard to read, but the whole letter is below. Read it and take whatever advice you will from it. BTW, this thing came from a prosecutor. It’s real.