From McSweeny's, January 15:
GARY: Hey Cindy, remember the other day when we were talking about optimizations?
CINDY: Yeah, I wanted to circle back on that.
GARY: Me too. You said you wanted to see hockey-stick growth. Well, I’ve realized that I want to see hockey-stick growth too—in our relationship.
CINDY: Unpack that for me.
GARY: This relationship has been such a value-add. Some of my friends were worried that it would take too long for us to get into alignment. But you have been an absolute rockstar.
CINDY: I feel the same way, Gary. The ROI on this relationship has been unbelievable. You’ve really given 110 percent.
GARY: So I wanted to close the loop. In addition to the other deliverables, I have one more. (He takes a knee, and holds out his hand.) It’s this wedding ring. Cindy, will you marry me?
CINDY: I will, Gary. You have been an absolute ninja. This moves the needle in a significant way....
....MUCH MORE