Today I Learned: Alphaville's Bryce Elder Switches Tasks Quicker If Not Attempting to Loin

We try not to be too hard on Mr. Elder for tardy arrivals at Markets Live. It's been five months since we posted:
Was Apple's Decision to Stop Reporting Unit Volume Last November A Tell?

I vaguely remember reading about it at Markets Live, but the images are jumbled.

Bryce was delayed getting to the Markets Live desk, but unlike a day earlier, not complaining that ML cut into his actual work. He seemed oddly resigned to his task of  keeping the Rabble on the Right on a short leash.
Cue dream sequence:...

Bryce has the toughest job in da 'Ville, switching from whatever he's doing at 10:59 to ad lib commentary on what's up (and down) in the markets, all while attempting to keep the reader's comments on point and not defaming folks, or wandering off in twos and threes to chat amongst themselves about cricket or Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling (yesterday):

or something.
So I thought it noteworthy to link to this:

11:04 am

you read that right, as close to on-time as we are likely to see before the return of Halley's Comet.

He begins:

11:04 am

BE Sad news .....

BE 

BE The FT.com sing in was unable to happen this morning.

11:04 am

BE Did you know the FT has a corporate song we sing each morning, to express our "shafu" or company spirit.

BE "Flap your wings, carry hope on your shoulders, hand-in-hand, Financial Times people will make a salmon pink rainbow across the world"

BE It's stirring stuff. But, today, sadly, there was a failure when attempting to loin.

11:06 am

BE Apologies if the mood is rather lower today as a result....MORE

Meanwhile, Mr. Elder's boss, editor Izabella Kaminska has been seeing naked emperors for the last few years or so.

Here's the latest:

Emperor has no clothes, Jaguar crypto press release edition

And for the last time, the color of the Financial Times is bisque! 

see: Bond Guru Martin Fridson Erroneously Refers To The Financial Times As "Salmon Colored"  for the proof.

Now back to cheese rolling. Some of our previous coverage:

2nd June 2017 
Reluctant locals forced to participate in cheese rolling
UNWILLING Gloucestershire residents have been made to chase a wheel of cheese down a hill by Londoners wanting to see authentic rural life.

To the chagrin of the locals, they were forced to recreate their proud tradition of risking life and limb running down a near-vertical gradient in pursuit of cheese for the amusement of weekend visitors.

Tom Logan of Stroud said: “We don’t actually do stuff like this any more. I’m an IT consultant.

“If I need cheese I just go to Tesco. Even a really big cheese doesn’t excite me to the point where I’d be willing to break an ankle.

“But they said we had to, and they’re rich, and if they sold up property values round here would collapse, so we all chased a cheese down a hill and my solicitor’s fractured two vertebrae.”...MORE

 Okay, truth be told, that's the intro to the Daily Mash's coverage and the picture is from SoGlos.