"Worst Case Wednesday: How to Avoid a Vampire Attack"

From Quirk Books:

Thanks to Twilight, people have ceased to believe that vampires are blood-thirsty murderers. Bella Swan would have been long dead if she tried dating Dracula.

Anyways, anyone watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 is far more vulnerable to being attacked by vampires after leaving the midnight showing. Who knows if vampires are studying popular culture’s opinion of vampires, and changing their disarming disguise accordingly?

It’s best not to go to the cinema unprepared, as your vampire killer might very well be wearing body shimmer! Here is some insider advice from The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition by David Borgenicht and Joshua Piven that will help you avoid these intelligent killers.

How to Avoid a Vampire Attack

Garlic, Garlic, Garlic: Wear a necklace of strung garlic, which vampires despise. A hearty meal of pasta with garlic sauce and garlic bread will also help to ward them off. A garlic garland on a doorway will prevent a vampire from entering, even if he’s been invited.

Stay outside during daylight hours: While sunlight will not kill vampires, it will severely burn them. Most vampires sleep during daylight hours and avoid direct sunlight whenever possible, preferring to hunt for victims in the dark of night....MORE