Thursday, November 2, 2017

Mary Poppins Triumphs: Thousand-Dollar IoT, Bluetooth and WiFi Enabled Tea Kettle Company Folds

Oh, and featuring machine-learning algos.

In February 2015's look at Dame Julia Elizabeth, "Nun with a Switchblade: Julie Andrews and The Fiftieth Anniversary Of The Sound Of Music" it was noted:
"It would surprise no one, perhaps, to learn that Julie Andrews travels with her own teakettle."
No. No it would not.
That was followed some months later by "Watch Out Mary Poppins: The World's First Tea Brewing System Utilizing Machine-Learning Algorithms Has Received Pre-Launch Seed Funding (plus a Princess Rap Battle)":
Teforia nabs $5.1 mln in Upfront Ventures-led round

And to bookend the story, the Daily Mirror:

Chai-ed and failed: Startup behind a $1000 'smart teapot' admits defeat
Turns out that people just don't want 'the best tea experience possible'
A Silicon Valley-based startup that took $12 million dollars in funding to create a $1,000 (£756) teapot has closed down, after its product failed to make it into kitchens around the world.
Teforia, which was founded in 2014, posted a lengthly message on its website explaining that it was ceasing all activites.

The message, written by CEO Allen Han reads: "The reality of our business is that it would take a lot more financing and time to educate the market and we simply couldn't raise the funds required in what is a very difficult time for hardware companies in the smart kitchen space."

The company's pricey "smart" tea maker used "advanced algorithms" and a hand-blown glass "infusion globe" to brew specially-made tea satchels called "Sips"...MORE.
As the story goes on to say, the machines and tea pods are on sale through tomorrow, marked down 50—80%.

And if you have a moment, the Princess Rap Battle is really quite good.